Thoughts for another day

March 29, 2012

Today's verse: Ps. 66:20. Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me.  (KJV)

(Pls. read the above before you read further. Thanks)

No matter how much I turn from Him, He never moves away from me.  His love is like a canopy that provides shade and is always over me, just as the sun and the moon never shy away from their assigned duties.  In my frustration, without thinking, I accuse Him of putting me in difficulty and sneer at Him to show how much I really care for Him; I tell Him, 'go ahead, do what You want … You want me to die miserably, so be it.'  I don't bother to see His love for me on that swollen face on the Cross; and His bruised and mutilated body, showing how much He suffered for me.  I see the yearning in His eyes.  I see how much He thirsts for me as I softly hear Him say, 'I thirst'. 

I tell Him, 'You have abandoned me' and I quickly bite my tongue for I remember His feeble voice crying to His Father, 'Eloi, Eloi lema Sabachthani.'  I can actually see the darkness before Him and worse, I can see the sneering and the deep satisfaction at His predicament on the faces of men who He created and whose names, He etched in His palms; and He tells me He always wanted to have a deep relationship with me!  Yet, even then, my ego tingles in my veins to rebel and I say, 'Oh You are God and I'm just a man.  I suffer and I'm in pain and I don't want your trial, just take it away from me.'  'Move on, I tell Him, cease to interfere with my life, I've had enough of You!' 

His Spirit comes gently and tells me, 'My son you are in this state for you sin and in your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.'  He says, 'I will never try you beyond a point for you are dear to Me!'  I suddenly realize, Who I am talking to: The LORD God Almighty; He who owns the universe and all in it; He whose power can still the winds and the waves of the sea.  And look, here is He coming to pacify me, a disfigured vessel of mud!  Ah, I know my God and He loves me so much and coming to my senses I say, 'Thank You Lord for Who You are in my life.'  I wonder at His goodness even as I close my eyes in deep reflection – He has never turned away my prayer nor His mercy from me – and I can feel His love like a canopy that provides me shade from the harsh elements and I can't help but cry, 'my God, my God, why do You love me so?'